What is Sex Addiction?
For those living with sex addiction, sometimes called compulsive sexual behavior disorder, this question goes far beyond an academic definition of symptoms. Understanding when/if we have a problem is the first step towards lasting change. The list of patterns below are used by most experts to identify sex addiction. It is not exhaustive, but can point you in the right direction. There is a lot of shame around these questions, but the best way to figure out if you may have a problem is to speak to a professional. With that said, here are four patterns often seen in sex addiction.
These patterns include:
• Preoccupation to the point of obsession with sexual behaviors, imagery, and themes
"I can’t stop thinking about it”
• A growing or complete lack of control over engaging in sexual behaviors, identified by attempts to quit and failing.
“Every time I try to stop, I find myself doing it again.”
• The uncontrollable behavior leads to negative consequences. These consequences can be related to relationships, emotions, self-esteem, finances, jobs, loss of time etc.
“If I don’t stop, I will lose my spouse.”
• A pattern of escalation, such as spending more and more time on sexual pursuits or seeking more intense sexual experiences.
“I never thought it would get this bad”
With these patterns, sex is no longer about intimacy, connection, or love. Instead, it becomes a need that overwhelms all other aspects of a person’s life. This overwhelming need can leave a path of destruction: relationships, finances, career aspirations, physical and mental health. Many report feelings of worthlessness, depression, suicidal thoughts, difficulty concentrating and anxiety. Partners of sex addicts, likewise, experience significant betrayal that can devastate their mental wellbeing. This all might sound hopeless, but there is a way out of these patterns. If you feel stuck, powerless, and lost, know that others like you have found their way to a healthy lifestyle. Hope is in the process and is available to all who ask for help. Help for sex addiction is holistic, it goes beyond stopping a behavior. It means promoting a new way of living, one that is honest, open, and self-aware. Living a life of recovery is possible and we can help.
“Hope is in the process.”
Those seeking help for sex addiction from the Center for Emotional and Sexual Health can expect opportunities for individual, couples, and group counseling experiences, all designed to create lasting change. At the Center, we have all have been trained through the International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals (IITAP) as Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) which provides a rigorous training program to ensure that we provide you and your loved ones the best possible care.
If the signs of sex addiction above describe yourself or someone you love, please reach out today. We are here to listen to your story, to engage your hurt and pain with healing, and to help you take the first steps towards recovery.
*Written by Eric Fesmire